Monday, 10 March 2008

A blog post.

I feel like doing a post a bit like a normal "blog" type post. Partly because this page has dropped off the search results for 'Will Tribble' now (though ironically one of the first results is an article describing how employers look for interview candidate's blogs as an excuse to reject them). Partly because I'm trying to send my page views into minus numbers. But also because I feel like it, dammit.

So stuff. The Fusion main intro thing was done last week, projected and everything and it seemed to go down well, but as it included footage of children from the charity it sponsored I'm not allowed to youtube it. So I'll have to reedit it to include a big grey space, which I can't be bothered to do right now.

The Secret Fantastic Project Thing requires a bit of reshooting that turned out to be waaay harder than I thought it would be. It was stupid of me for not thinking about this earlier, and (for utterly justified reasons) the actor and props I need might as well have been in Mozambique. In the interim I wrote a short script about how hard and irritating it is to make a short film. I've managed to get other people interested in helping me write this other film, which is nice, and it's superficially more simple to make. Maybe it might even be done first. I doubt it though.

Here's where it gets fun. As there are several people now interested in co-writing this second script, called MiniDV, and as I want it to be more realistic than my usual stuff, I decided to create some Facebook profiles for the main characters. All the writers now have their passwords, and we all log in and change stuff. As we don't know who's changed what, it's a bit like an online ouija board. It's surprisingly addictive, a bit like the Sims, or sitting alone in the attic talking to puppets that you've given the voices in your head while Momma is on the old peculiar and Papa's having one of his Dark Days.

The profiles are here:

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1165147130
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1141417313
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1148647422

And the groups they've created are here:

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=11092381959&ref=mf
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=11006961114&ref=mf

(you may need to remove the &ref=mf bit to make them work, I don't know)

If anyone's reading this, please add them as friends. Feel free to join their groups also. Though they seem quite realistic they're hampered by not having many friends, only joining Facebook about 3 days ago and having no real pictures of themselves (though when we get actors to play them that should fix that). Anyway, it's an idea I've nicked from the exceptional Achewood, which uses blogs to convince you that a collection of anthropomorphic cats and talking toy animals are real.

It's been quite interesting. Basing them on other people's, it took about a day to build the profile pages. The other writers' contributions have been slowly building up, and my characters now account for about a third of the posts on my wall. One thing I've noticed is the slight difference in style. All the other writers are girls, and when they're in control the characters are both more friendly and more businesslike. I have them posting random silly messages on each others' walls or coming close to arguing, they have them meeting for coffee. Maybe the difference in online writing style between boys and girls is more than having girls adding a load of xxxxs to the end of stuff. Maybe I'm just silly and argumentative.

I also realised how much time I waste watching films. For Colin's profile I listed about 70 films that he likes, most of which I've watched, and the ones I've haven't I'd like to watch. That's over 80 hours of my life I could have spent doing something else, like making films. I don't know how I feel about that though.

Speaking of which, last night I was tricked into watching all three of Robert Rodriguez's "Mexico" films back to back, and the jump between El Mariachi and Desperado is genuinely disconcerting. At least you can see a natural progression from Peter Jackson's Bad Taste to Brain Dead to what I've seen of Meet the Feebles, before his more standardly filmed, less fun looking pre-Rings stuff (badmovies.org did an interview with one of the Bad Taste crew about a year before hobbits started exploding all over the place, it's very interesting). El Mariachi actually looks less professional and more home movie-like than Jackson's early films. A man with a podgy face similar to mine spends a whole simplistic plot throwing an empty guitar case around as he dodges camera crews with fake guns and conservatively applied squibs for the love of a vaguely attractive woman. Then suddenly he's morphed into Antonio Banderas and he's making out with Salma Hayek and the guitar cases fire torpedos and celebrities are popping up just to have their heads explode and everything is all shiney and like a proper film and the Wikipedia page is much shorter. You can just about see a few glimmers of the first one, like the slightly older cast popping up (that Moco guy is a comic genius) and a few handheld close ups of people's faces showing exaggerated emotions (amateur films love those), but mainly you sit there thinking how the hell he managed it. And don't get me started on Once Upon A Time In Mexico. Dear God.

Anyway, I've linked to badmovies.org already so I guess I'll rip it off by saying what I learnt from Robert Rodriguez's "Mexico" trilogy:

- In Mexico, women will keep a whole drawer full of letter openers for multi-letter opening action (they wear them as gloves like Freddy Krueger).

- If people are trying to kill you in a small town, don't go out undisguised for routine errands.

- If you run between two gangsters firing at you at point blank range, they will hit each other and you will be okay.

- If you have a load of guns concealed in a fake guitar shell, don't make the guitar shell automatically open after a dramatic pause.

- Novelty crotch machine guns that look like a penis and scrotum are surprisingly common.

- If you are and someone's wrists are held together by a chain, swinging each other violently over buildings will result in no fracture whatsoever.

- Johnny Depp will never die no matter how many times he falls over and they play sad music, and Cheech is definitely undead.

- Being woken up by your significant other playing a guitar and gently singing in a different language is the loveliest way I can think of waking up. It would be even better if, instead of people shooting at you immediately afterwards, the significant other would share a packet of cookies with you and everybody lives. Why isn't there more of a fetish for people acting pleasantly? Why aren't there websites full of pictures of naked people offering you some freshly baked cupcakes or knitting you a scarf, without turning it into a creepy S&M thing? Why can't you call up sex lines to have someone offering you a nice cup of tea and helping you complete a difficult passport application form?

Anyway I'm done.

Will.