Tuesday, 4 November 2008

It was Will Smith that pushed me over the edge.

Today the constant non-applicable media bombardment finally broke me. I scribbled out my own ballot sheets in crayon on toilet paper, and put in 500 frenzied votes for Barack McNader. I ran naked into the street, slipping them into post boxes, letter boxes, suggestion boxes, and the notably large mouths of a few confused passersby. 

My programming obeyed, I performed a short but memorable rap about my chosen candidate's impressive track record and the social merits of his policies, aggressively implied that the opposition were neoconservative liberal terrorist Communist Muslim Nazi gays, spent between twenty minutes and an hour shouting "WAKE UP SHEEP" to an actual field of sleeping sheep, then mercifully discharged a bullet into my forehead. 

"This wouldn't have happened if we'd voted for the other guy," I dribbled as my brain leaked on to a snoring ewe. 


1 comment:

el director! said...

I'm thankful that elections in the UK only last a maximum of six weeks. That's long enough!